


Something Different.

by Silence_burns



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asexuality, F/M, Gen, Hunting, Some Humor, asexual!Reader, set back when Crowley was imprisoned in the bunker's basement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-09-18 05:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16989072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silence_burns/pseuds/Silence_burns
Summary: Slow-burn Crowley x asexual!reader. When Crowley notices you actually have a weak point, he becomes very interested in taking advantage of it. But not everything goes as he expected.





	1. Chapter 1

A loud yawn almost broke your jaw. You rubbed your tired face that felt more like a mask, trying to wake up just a little bit more. Even though a fresh cup of coffee was an extremely tempting idea, you doubted you would survive one more. You were pretty sure that caffeine was flowing through your veins right now, after so many cups that you lost count.

It was a hard night. You and the Winchesters were wandering in the dark, trying to find out what was going on in a small city in the middle of nowhere. You hated this particular hunt. Nothing was going as it should be and since you arrived there, you have been attacked three times already in the span of a few days. But people were dying, so there was no chance of leaving it unsolved. To be honest, you didn’t even want to leave it be, you were a hunter after all – but you were exhausted after another sleepless night and another sleepless day when you had to interview more people. It was fair, actually. Dean had taken the guard before you, and Sam was supposed to watch over you two on the upcoming night. You still had no idea what was hunting people down in this city, but you were sure as hell that it was aware of your arrival. And it wasn’t happy.

You bit your lip slightly, just to keep your mind awake, but it took you only a few seconds to go back to your previous, barely alive, state. You were leaning on Dean’s Impala, watching the boys flirt with a middle-aged woman across the street. She must have known something she didn’t want to tell, because otherwise the boys wouldn’t be acting like this just for fun. Not in the middle of a hunt at least, you hoped. And damn on you if it wasn’t working.

“Hello, darling. Fresh and resplendent as always, I see,” a well-known voice erupted behind you. You could almost smell the sulfur. Or maybe it was overstrain.

“Yeah. Few more days like that and I may even visit you in Hell personally,” you muttered, not bothering to look back. You felt like every move was taking the tiny scraps of your energy that were left. You didn’t have many of them, so you surely weren’t in the mood for taking a risk.

“As much as I would love your visit, I am pretty sure it’s still too early for you,” Crowley said with a smirk, now standing on your left.

You gave him a tired look.

“But Dean-o said I will rest in a grave. It’s so tempting.”

Crowley laughed quietly at your poor attempt in joking, even though it was really bad. You have known each other for a while now, since you were working with the Winchesters and they had to use the demon’s help from time to time. You have known every sin and every move Crowley made even before you had actually met him – that was the boys’ way of protecting you from him and his charms. It was kind of cute of them, but they didn’t have to worry so much about you, to be honest. You were not a kid anymore. You understood how the world was working.

But even though Crowley was not a Saint, he was still playing by the rules and you respected this side of him, just like he respected your hunting skills. There were times when you had been a true pain in his ass, killing so many demons that he almost didn’t believe one person was able to make it. And yet, there you were, standing side by side.

“You feel alright?”

“I’ve been worse,” you shrugged. “But I’ll be back to my old self once we finish this mess. I wish we could do it soon.”

“I don’t have any information about this case, unfortunately.”

“Since when would you want to help us without begging?” you raised an eyebrow. “I thought the begging was the best part.”

“Oh, I still love it. I just do not enjoy seeing you in a state like this, it takes the fun out of your poor attempts in convincing me to do anything. Especially if you are driven to the limits because of some stupid monster.”

“And who’s saying that?” you asked sarcastically.

Crowley shot you a bright smile, obviously proud of himself for making you a little more alive.

“Maybe we could discuss this problem somewhere in private,” he offered slyly.

“Sure, ‘cause I obviously have so much free time right now. Who cares about people dying,” you dismissed his flirt. You weren’t even mad at him. He was Crowley. He flirted all the time, with literally everything that had two legs.

“I’m not saying about right now, but I’m always open for any…”

“Go there,” you pointed out to the other side of the street, where the Winchesters were working their magic.

Crowley frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“If you want to have fun, show the boys how they should charm the pretty lady, because I’ve been waiting for like half an hour and they still have no answers. Well, I mean, I’m pretty sure they have many answers, but none is useful for our case. And you may lose some steam by the way.”

The Demon blinked, taken by surprise.

“Darling, I’m pretty sure I sense something more than you are actually saying,” he stated carefully, watching you with concern. “If anything is wrong, you may tell me…”

“Sorry, Crowley,” you backed up, feeling guilty. He had nothing to do with your irritation and shouldn’t be blamed for it. “I’m just tired and everything makes me angry right now. I mean, just look at this woman – how can anyone be so stupid? Boys aren’t even trying, and she is still so tacky… And it’s gonna take some time before she says anything connected with the case.”

“Oh my, are you jealous?” Crowley gasped theatrically. “Is it Moose or Squirrel? Who should I hate even more?”

“Nah, stop it. I just can’t believe anyone can think like an animal. I mean, I’m used to it, but it still keeps me surprised every time people act like they have never heard about dignity.”

“It’s not that bad, everyone has their needs…”

“Crowley. She is drooling in front of them.”

“She is not…”

“Look closer. She just raised her skirt with the door frame, of course unintentionally.”

“…you may be on point a little bit.”

“Say that again, so I can record it.”

Crowley laughed quietly.

You yawned again. You had only slept in the Impala once and it left a not very comfortable feeling, but at this point, you were so tired you would fall asleep on the ground. You gazed longingly at the backseat, almost feeling the soft texture underneath your beaten up, exhausted body…

Crowley was observing you, but you were too lost in your thoughts to notice it. The two of you were neither friends nor  enemies anymore (for which he was more than relieved, but would never admit). You were an interesting person and he kind of enjoyed working with you. You often had those little conversations, when things weren’t in so much rush and you had a short break before rushing into new problems.

He got to know a few things about you. Most of the time, you kept being hardy and determined as to what did you want to archive. There was hardly anything one could use against you. And now… You probably didn’t even think about your words, but Crowley was rarely forgetting anything. And now he had something that could be considered as your weak point. Of course, he still wasn’t sure what precisely caused it, but was more than willing to find out. In a world where people and monsters constantly had to fight each other, having an advantage over one of your biggest opponents was at a premium.

“I guess the boys have finally found the answers they were looking for,” Crowley stated casually, looking at the other side of the street. The Winchesters noticed him and visibly hastened their steps.

“You sure you don’t want to teach them how to take from people what they want faster?” you asked.

“I think I still have to learn a few things myself, love,” he said in an abnormally nice tone. He was radiating with happiness, just as if he won a billion dollars. Or maybe souls, who knows what demons preferred.

“Okay,” you shrugged.

Before the brothers came to you, Crowley was gone in the blink of an eye. They didn’t look very pleased.

“What did he want?” Dean asked worried.

“I don’t know. Maybe he was bored in Hell. Can we finally go to motel? I’m dying…”

“You could take a nap in the car.”

“I didn’t want to be mugged. I hate breaking fingers of muggers, they scream so loudly…”

“Right. Let’s go back, Rambo,” Sam laughed, patting you on a head. You may be smaller than him, but you could toss him to the ground any second.

You wanted to remind him of that, but another wide yawn stole your words and closed your eyes, and after you entered the car, you already forgot what you wanted to say. Thanks, Chuck, that nothing important happened that day and you could sleep through the better part of it, not bothered by any more problems.


	2. Chapter 2

How long does it take a coffee to brew? Does the amount of sugar change it? If it wasn’t boiling, how would it taste right after pouring the water? Would it taste just fine or does waiting for the drink to cool have that much of a meaning?

You closed your eyes just for a while. The day has been exhausting and far from enjoyable, but you couldn’t leave it behind yet, as you still had much work to finish. And that required some help. A very slowly cooling help.

Something shifted behind you.

Faster than you would honestly expect in your state, you throw a spoon that was lying next to your hand at the thing that appeared in your very quiet, very empty apartment.

Crowley flinched when it hit him hard right in the forehead, not doing him any harm. The spoon landed on the ground with a loud clink.

“Seriously?! A spoon? What did you expect it to do?” Crowley looked at you in pure disbelief, massaging his head. You hoped he would have a dark bruise soon.

You waved your hand, in which you had a demon-killing knife.

“To distract any idiot that thought I wouldn’t have my baby in my back pocket, within reach,” you grinned, proud of yourself. You were half-dead from sleep deprivation but you still managed to stun your guest.

Crowley raised an eyebrow, nodding appreciatively. He clapped his hands in a mocking manner and you saluted. If he wanted to play, he should remember two could do this.

“Well, so now that we can talk properly, what are you looking for here?” you gestured to your crappy motel room, where you’ve been residing for the last few days.

The Winchesters were out, dealing with something big on their own. You were tired after your last hunt and wanted to rest and regain your strength before going to the field again. Lucky for you, there wasn’t much of a job for a hunter anywhere close to where you were staying, so you decided to take a short vacation - no one knew how long would it last. You had a bad feeling about what the boys were after, but they didn’t want to make you a part of it, at least not yet. You were actually pretty confident they would reach out for you sooner or later, but there was no point in rushing things. If they were going to need you, you had to be in shape for when the time came. And for now… well, no one ever said that having some well-earned free time had to happen in a perfectly clean area. Especially when you were diving in the possible cases in that state.

Crowley admired the pile of dishes almost falling from the sink on your left.

“What makes you think I would only make a visit to such a lovely and courteous person like you if I needed anything?” he asked slyly.

You muttered a curse under your breath, already tired of dealing with the demon and his moods.

“Dude, I know you far too well, sadly, to be fooled by a crap like that. Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

“I’ve never said that.”

“But you still try to pull a fast one on me. It says something even if you personally don’t. So?”

Crowley smirked smugly, not bothered even a little, and you felt your blood boiling. The bastard didn’t even have to say anything to annoy the living shit out of you. That definitely required some skills, but you were far from commending him on his unusual talent, quite the opposite actually.

“I only wanted to check on my favourite hunter, see how life is going… I see it’s as miserable as I thought,” Crowley glanced around with an air of pomposity. You had to admit the rest of the small apartment didn’t look much better than the kitchen.

“I had better things to do than to clean and scrub the floor,” you shrugged, raising your chin. “Some of us don’t waste our time spying on and disturbing others.”

“Oh my, and what is so absorbing?” he chuckled.

“Maybe finding an effective way of killing you?”

“I could give you some lessons on that, and some other subjects…”

You brushed off his flirt, ignoring it just like you have for months now. It looked like Crowley couldn’t take a hint even when hit with it.

“I don’t need your help with anything, and most definitely not with killing demons. You may not recall it, but I have almost killed you twice, man. And even now, I’m this close to doing it again if you don’t stop talking and leave me alone.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, darling. I have only let my guard down because of some other… events that have been distracting me…”

“You should name yourself the King of Lies, Crowley. I could have finished you with a blink of an eye,” you snarked, leaning on the counter behind you, but not putting your knife down. Crowley may not be your main enemy right now, but you still didn’t trust him.

“Please, darling. You sound like I have never done the same…”

“Maybe because you didn’t?”

“May I remind you that time when you were rotting in my prison…?”

You shrugged, looking him straight in the eyes. You could see he was starting to get irritated with you, probably not used to be treated without respect.

“It wasn’t your work,” you declared with confidence.

Crowley’s eyebrows raised with disbelief.

“I am the King of Hell, and I ordered my demons to capture you,” he said slowly as if he had to explain something to a child.

“Exactly,” you nodded approvingly. “You only gave orders. I, on the other hand, had to hunt you down myself, without anyone’s help. And, let me repeat myself, I was successful,” you added proudly. You could see Crowley boiling with anger. Oh, it looked like you just stepped on someone’s pride… What a shame.

For a moment you could swear Crowley’s eyes flashed red, but it was gone before you made sure. It sent shivers down your spine and made you clench your hand on the knife harder, but the demon didn’t attack you, coming back to his senses quickly. Crowley cleared his throat, bringing a smile back on his face. Smug bastard.

“If you excuse me, it looks like I’ve got something to take care of,” he nodded in goodbye theatrically, before disappearing. The faint odour of Sulfur filled your small kitchen, making you open the window.

“So now we have quiet days or something?” you asked the air, but no answer came.

Well, you certainly weren’t going to miss that annoying bastard. You still felt a little bit pleased with making him that furious. It was a few months since you stopped hunting him, just like the Winchesters did. Crowley may be a pain in the ass, but you needed him from time to time as he has proved his utility on a few occasions.

The only thing you weren’t so sure about him, was why did he have so much interest in you. At first, you didn’t even notice that until the Winchesters asked you about it, claiming that Crowley usually didn’t pop out of nowhere without any particular reason, or at least not for any hunter they knew.

It was even weirder when you thought about how many times you got on his nerves just to annoy him, very much like he did to you. You were enemies for the majority of your lifetime, at least because of your labels as a hunter and a demon, and now it wasn’t actually that different. You were not friends. You couldn’t stand working with each other and almost always ended up irritating the living shit out of each other. Sure, there were those rare times when you could actually talk like civilised people and not fight or throw things, but what did that mean? What did that mean to Crowley, was the more complicated question. Could this be that he was just bored in Hell and wanted something fresh and new?

Well, guessing by his rather rushed departure, you were almost sure he wasn’t used to being treated not like the king he claims to be. He wasn’t your king, so why should you act like he was?

You yawned, looking at your almost frozen coffee you forgot about. Who says that women are complicated? Have they never met a demon?

Probably. It looked like you were the only one who demons clung to. Yay.

* * *

Dealing with humans was a lot harder than one would think. Of course, it got easier the more information known about them. It let you predict their behaviour, to get them interested or willing to do something. The best results were given by acknowledging their darkest, deepest secrets or weaknesses, even though it was difficult to find them out. But Crowley was patient and perceptive and that usually earned him access to a person’s soul. Usually. For those who he had no time to carefully drop the bait, he usually seduced or made one of his demons seduce.

But, apparently, you seemed to be almost as resistant as he himself and could see through his plotting, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get to you. It was more frustrating than truly dangerous, especially now that you were not actively hunting him down. But Crowley was not one to give up so easily. You were talented, determined and he would greatly appreciate using you from time to time, even if it meant he had to blackmail or provoke you. After all, he was the King of Hell. Why should he hold back?

Crowley approached you, sitting at some second-rate bar in the middle of nowhere. Oh, he perfectly knew why you were here, as he has been watching your actions for the past week, heating them from time to time to keep you and himself entertained enough. Why would he do that, one may ask? To prove a point. An important point.

You barely raised your eyes, with your head leaning on your arm on the bar’s counter, a half empty glass loosely grasped between your fingers. Black circles under your eyes contrasted with the rest of your worn-out face, still partly covered in dust. Your clothes still smelt like fire and a ghoul’s nest, as you probably didn’t have the time or strength to properly wash yourself. No one could blame you if they knew about your last week. It was understandable you were in pressing need of whisky, even as nasty as the ones served in a place like this.

“Hello, darling,” Crowley flashed you a bright smile that could lighten up the whole room if it was meant to do that. You sloppily thought you wished to smile back when your knife entered his body, but you were too weak to even move somewhere away  from him.

“I hate you,” you muttered instead, letting your tired eyes slide shut once again.

“Darling, there is no need for such offensive words. Or did something happen?” he asked in a poorly concealed mocking tone, perfectly aware of what happened.

You growled loudly, not bothered even a little by the weird stares people around gave you. Crowley laughed.

“I suppose it’s because of your recent… case? Or maybe I should say, cases, darling?”

“Screw you, Crowley.”

“Me? Why me? Did I do something to you?” he tried to sound offended, but it wasn’t that easy to do with a smile plastered to face.

“Don’t play with me, Crowley, I’m not in the mood. I know you had to do with those ‘unusual’ cases that are literally making me die from exhaustion,” you snapped at him.

“Me? Darling, accidents happen and…”

“Like hell!”

“Actually, Hell is doing quite fine from what I’ve witnessed. Besides, it would be a shame if you died right now as I still have not prepared you a room…”

“You are so funny,” you growled out sarcastically, eyeing him furiously.

“Say it again, please.”

“You wish. By the way, what made you do all of this? Is it because of our talk? I had never considered you to act like that,” you asked, curious about his motives.

Crowley shrugged.

“I have not even the slightest idea what you are rambling about. Did you see me anywhere, creating any of this mess with my hands?”

“Oh, come on! Are you really offended by what I said? Are you five?” you raised your head, your emotions granting you some strength.

Crowley didn’t move. You could see how pleased he was with his idea of messing in your recent hunts and making them a lot harder. If you had any doubts before, now you were sure whose fault it was.

“If it’s too much, you can always admit it and ask someone for help,” Crowley declared, making it obvious as to who he had in mind to seek help from. So there was his motive – he wanted to make you beg for him to stop and admit that he was stronger and smarter than you. Your previous conversation must have hurt his pride more than you thought.

But there were some options he apparently didn’t think of.

“Oh, but I already did,” you laughed, looking over your shoulder when you heard someone entering the bar. You pointed a finger at the newest guests. “And there is my cavalry, ready to fight any evil, suited or not.”

Sam and Dean finally noticed you at the bar, but the relieved smiles froze on their faces when they recognized the person sitting by your side. You could almost see how they were one step from running to you with their blades drawn. Screw the human witnesses, it’s the Winchesters time.

You waved your hand calmingly, though, making them stop in the middle of the bar. You gestured them to stay low and that you were doing just fine. Sam raised his eyebrow, not convinced, but you made the thumbs up gesture. He shook his head disapprovingly, but took a sit at one of the tables next to Dean. He made sure to have a good sight of the two of you, just in case. You were grateful to him. Sammy always tried to help the best he could.

Crowley observed your actions, giving the boys just a glimpse of an eye. They weren’t a real threat, at least not at the moment. Right now though, Crowley had an excellent chance of taking notes on you. It was almost like a blessing, as someone sarcastic would say.

“Oh, so the boys are here too,” he nodded to himself. “What a surprise. How nice of them.”

“Yeah, it’s nice indeed, because I’ve heard they are kind of busy right now. Are you happy now? You wanted me to call them to make a trap for all of us?” you asked half-jokingly. The three of you were almost invincible together and you were pretty sure that with the boys’ help, you could take care of your mess with ease.

“Maybe later,” the demon took a look at the Winchesters. “It would be even nicer of them, if they cared for you as much as you think they do.”

You ordered another drink after finishing the one in your hand. Crowley’s behaviour is perplexing. He rarely talked in so many riddles.

“What do you mean?” you had to ask, when he didn’t seem like explaining his words.

“Which one do you think cares for you more? The one checking out the blondie or the brunette?” Crowley gestured to their table.

You looked at them and then shrugged. Nothing was out of ordinary for you.

“I don’t know. Both probably, I mean, they both came there.”

Crowley squinted his eyes, surprised by your answer and the lack of emotions you should have had. It almost made you laugh.

“What? Should I be jealous? Crowley, please…”

“Why not? Samantha looked interested in you…”

“Sam was more focused on you than me, if it makes any difference to you. And even if he wasn’t, why should I forbid him from finding someone? It’s not like we are together or something…” you laughed at the last part and the ridiculousness of the thought.

Crowley looked like he was still thinking about it.

“Crowley! One more minute and I’m gonna think you are setting me up!” you snapped at him, losing your good mood quickly.

“What would be so bad about it? Maybe it’s my new hobby?”

“Setting people up? Are you mad? Did something possess you?” you started to worry seriously.

“You wish. But just think about it – I’m not saying Moose is the best choice for you, but he sure has some… values important in…”

Your drink flew to Crowley’s face, soaking him in the middle of the sentence. For a brief moment you looked at each other in silence, both taken-aback. You raised from your seat, waving at the Winchesters to stay where they were.

“I don’t have either time nor patience for poor jokes like that, Crowley,” you said in a low voice.

“Maybe it was not a joke?” the demon didn’t move at all.

“It better be.”

You left the money on the counter, nodding at the surprised bartender and approached the boys, moving out from the bar with them. They shot Crowley a death glare on their way out.

The owner of the bar took the money you left, eyeing the demon who now was completely dry. It looked like your drink must have missed him, the man thought, not noticing even a one drop on the expensive suit. The wealthy have always been the luckiest one. At least, almost always.

“A tough one, huh?” he asked lightly, hiding the money.

“It looks like it,” Crowley said, not looking at him. He was still keeping an eye on the door, now closed.

“Nah, don’t worry, man. You’ll find another one – it shouldn’t be a problem with your look.”

An idea sparked in Crowley’s head. A wolfish smile crossed his lips.

The bartender turned around to take something from the shelf behind him. When he came back, Crowley was gone and the only thing that was left was a huge tip. The man looked around, pretty sure that it wasn’t possible to move out of the bar that quickly, but as there was no other possibility, he mumbled something to himself, moving on to the next customer.


	3. Chapter 3

It has been a few weeks since you last saw the Winchesters. They couldn’t tell you much, but they have been busy with something bigger than ever before, as Dean told you once. It took you a while of nagging to make them tell you anything additional. You wanted to help them, they were your friends and the closest thing to a family you still had. You would do anything for them and you knew they would do the same. This is why you couldn’t give up on their poor excuses and one day you made them talk honestly.

They wanted to close the gates to Hell.

It was a shock for you, and you partially started to understand why they didn’t want to tell you what they have been preparing for, for so long. You couldn’t believe it was possible, but they assured you they were getting closer with every passing week.

And so you helped them to the best of your abilities, both them and occasionally Kevin.

It almost worked. They almost made it.

But as always, the events that were so close to happening but failed, were the most tragic and hardest to subsequently live with after. Especially when they required sacrifice.

But life wasn’t going to suddenly stop or change, even though it felt like it should or like it already did. There were still people around worth saving and cases that needed to be solved. And just like the world needed those who would actively battle against the monsters, it also needed the ones protecting the backs of those fighters.

Especially when those fighters had no idea what they were fighting with.

You stretched beside the large wooden table in the bunker’s library, now bending over the amount of ancient books you put on it, looking for anything that would fit the Winchesters’ vague description of whatever was causing havoc in the nearby state. You only came to the bunker a few days earlier, when the boys asked you for assistance. At first, you weren’t sure what your part would be, guessing it would be connected to either a hunt or their next in a long line of attempts at closing the gates of Hell, but Dean assured you it was not possible to try again. Sam didn’t look as convinced as his brother, but didn’t argue with him. You knew what happened and you respected both of their decisions.

The only thing you didn’t know at the moment, was what exactly happened to the King of Hell you helped them catch, after the ritual had been stopped.

You almost didn’t believe them, when they told you that the most powerful and cunning demon of your times was locked up in their basement, right under your feet.

They didn’t laugh and you could feel your laughter dying off in your suddenly tight throat.

And that’s how you ended up becoming their researcher and babysitter all in one. Amazing.

“No, I’m pretty sure it cannot be a fairy, Dean,” you said to the phone, flipping the book in front of you closed with a loud thump. “What do you mean? I’m literally diving in all of this stuff right now, Dean! Do you have any idea how many books, scripts, and notes are here? I haven’t slept since you left me with this mess. It’s gonna take me time to find your…”

You rolled your eyes, listening to his words.

“I know, I know, and I’m trying, okay? Just give me some time. If you didn’t notice, I’m kind of new to your pretty little library, and Kevin is sleeping right now. I’ll…”

He asked you a question. The question. You took a deep breath before answering, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on the slight change in your voice.

“No, I didn’t check up on him yet. I thought you needed this info asap, so I… Dean, if he got out of the cell you closed him in, he would definitely make me or Kevin notice, okay? He will be fine…”

Dean had a different view.

“Okay! I’ll go now, if you want it so badly!” you finally lost your temper, standing up from your seat. “Just don’t call me when you need something in five minutes!”

You growled, throwing your phone on the table. It landed on one of the various books strewn about the place. Many books. Many thick books you had to read for the boys’ latest case. Uh, you would rather read them all in one go than go down in the basement and its chained inhabitant. But life was not fair and there wasn’t much you could do about it.

You hadn’t spoken a word to Crowley since your talk at a bar a few weeks ago and you weren’t sure what was going to happen, particularly after you helped the Winchesters catch him for the ritual of closing Hell. You could still recall his surprised face when Dean used demon-proofed handcuffs you’d made. Oh, the irony.

After consideration, you took a glass of water from the kitchen with you. You had no idea if demons needed to drink, but you were definitely not going back down there for his every need.

The stairs were creaking under your feet when you headed to the basement. The cool air slid across your soft skin, giving you goosebumps as you started to regret not putting on warmer clothes. You had no idea it could be that cold in there. Crowley may be a demon, but he had to feel it too. You felt a slight pinch of remorse at the thought of him, sitting there alone in darkness and cold. It disappeared as soon as you locked gazes with Crowley.

He was sitting chained in the middle of a pentagram, his hands resting on the small table in front of him. The room was tiny, bleak, and had nothing else in it. A dim light created deep shadows on the demon’s beaten up face.

“Are my eyes deceiving me or am I really so lucky?” Crowley smiled widely, not bothered by his split lip that must have hurt.

“Neither,” you said from the place where you were standing in the doorway. You didn’t like the idea of entering the pentagram that was holding him, but you placed the glass on the table, quickly moving back.

“Don’t be so harsh. I missed our little chats. You see, I don’t have many opportunities to talk these days, considering some recent… events involving me,” he gestured theatrically to his surrounding, not-so-subtly rattling his chains in the process. You rolled your eyes so hard you actually worried they would stay at the back of your head. Crowley didn’t change even for a bit.

“I know, I know, you’re angry at me and the boyband, but what did you expect? You are a demon and we are hunters. If we need a demon, we catch one.”

“Or you could always call. It’s XXI century, even I have a phone,” he raised an eyebrow.

“And would you so willingly let Sammy exorcise you and pump you to the brim with human blood?” you snorted in amusement.

“Touche,” Crowley admitted with a nod. “But you could have always given it a try instead of just kidnapping me. I’m the King of Hell, I’ve got a reputation to uphold, especially since Abbadon started messing around with my kingdom.”

“Yeah, I can totally imagine calling you and asking if it is kinky enough for you. That sounds like such a good idea.”

He spread his arms as widely as the chains allowed.

“Who knows? Maybe one of your kinks matches one of mine?” he asked slyly, never losing his composure. “We might know if…”

“Or maybe we don’t need to know. Don’t start this talk again, Crowley, we’ve been over this,” you warned him, already regretting talking with him. The next time you check on him, you will just peek over the corner to see if he is still firmly planted in his seat. Dealing with him cost you far too many worries.

“We may have been talking, but you didn’t answer me properly, not even once,” he wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“I don’t have to. All I had to do was check if you’re still among living, and now I have every right to just go back and ignore you even more efficiently, while you will be rotting here.”

“Really? But Kevin could also pay me a little visit, just like before,” he gestured to his still fresh wounds. “I miss him already. I hope he is fine on his way to his mommy…”

“Kevin’s fine, he’s resting,” you snapped, aware of what lies Crowley was able to implant in Kevin. That was one of the reasons why the Winchesters asked you to come to the bunker. They trusted in your cold-blood and that you could handle both of them.

Crowley quickly jumped to his own conclusions. His eyes lightened.

“Resting? Oh my, I’m sure he has every reason to rest…”

“You know what? I’m done with your crap, Crowley,” you shouted, finally having enough after months of his never-ending innuendos.

You took a chair and placed it on the other side of the table angrily. And there goes your cold-blood and self-control. You leaned forward, locking his gaze with yours.

“What do you want from me, Crowley? And cut all that crap, because you know you won’t fool me,” you said in a low voice that couldn’t mask the fury raging inside you.

Crowley looked taken aback. He didn’t expect that kind of reaction from you.

“What is your problem?” you asked again, piercing him fearlessly. “Why do you keep doing this to me?”

It took him a moment to answer, which he did, putting his words slowly.

“Is this a moment for sincerity? Because, you know, demons may have some issues with that…”

“You owe me the answer, Crowley. After all those months of your constant nagging, I’m tired of your weird games. This is your only chance.”

Crowley locked his jaw, observing you. The whole situation he suddenly has found himself in was rather troublesome to his plans, already hindered because of the bloody Winchesters and their complex of saving the world.

But the problem was that he understood you more than himself at that point and it wasn’t something he would easily admit, even when placed in his current predicament. Putting that whole talk off was a truly tempting idea and Crowley was sure that if he made one more remark, you would stop your interrogation and leave him be. At the same time, though, it didn’t feel like a good idea at all.

Crowley looked away. It must have been the human blood still coursing through his veins that was making him doubt his decisions. Everything seemed different than weeks ago, when he was planning a rather different approach to you. Some things just didn’t feel right and he couldn’t understand why it suddenly matter to him.

You waited in silence on the other side of the table. You were exhausted and angry, but it didn’t change your spirit at all. You have always been like that, Crowley thought. Even at your worst day, you were still so bright and determined to archive your goals.

“I don’t know,” Crowley said at last, finding himself speaking the hard truth, even though some part of him desperately wanted him to shut his mouth. He ignored it. “At first, I only wanted to know your weakness, being sure that you had to care for someone deeply enough for me to use it later. But when you weren’t interested in anyone close to you, well…”

“Yeah, I remember about your little hobby,” you cracked half of a smile and Crowley’s eyes fixed on it for a little too long of a moment, but you didn’t notice. “It went horrible.”

“Indeed, darling, and I admit it was quite impolite of me,” Crowley nodded, clearing his suddenly tightened throat. “And I would like to make it up to you somehow, maybe at dinner? Of course, after I get out of here, because I just happen to know a very pleasant restaurant on the outskirts of Rome…”

Your breath hitched when his words got to you with all their meanings.

“Stop,” you asked him quietly, closing your eyes. Your heart was thumping against your chest and your hands were getting sweaty.

“Why?,” Crowley furrowed his eyebrows. “If you don’t like Rome, we may always find someplace else…”

“That’s not what I mean. The place doesn’t matter,” you said, not looking him in the eyes. The sadness in your voice raised an alarm in his racing thoughts.

“Why?” he asked again, taking a sip from the glass you brought him. His mouth felt dry as a desert. “I’m just saying that…”

“I know what you are saying, and my answer is still a no. We cannot, Crowley. It wouldn’t work either way…” you shook your head, moving to stand up, but Crowley caught your hand, not letting you. You couldn’t look at him, not now when everything was becoming even worse than you have  imagined.

“But why? Is this because of my body? I may change it, darling, at any second. Even the gender, if you want me to, just say…”

“I don’t care what meatsuit you are in.”

“Oh, so you are the personality type? It’s rare in our times, but not impossible for me – I can be very charming, trust me. I can be the most daring demon you’ll ever meet.”

“Why are you doing this to me? Why do you want me to jump your bones so badly? There are plenty of people who would kill for a lovey-dovey night with you, so why do you keep nagging me? I won’t, not this,” you said quietly, brushing your worn-out face with the hand previously grasped between his fingers. You suddenly felt tired, as the fiery emotions that used to keep you up disappeared, leaving just an empty shell.

“I’ve already found it out, darling,” he nodded.

“So now what? Am I another challenge to you?” you snickered gloomily.

“What- Don’t you ever think like that!” Crowley snapped, an unusual emotions lacing his words.

“Because what? Devil may care?” you laughed quietly, but there was no real happiness in your voice as it was far from that. Your unpleasant memories and experience were overloading your mind and at one point, you wanted to just wake up from all this mess, but it was impossible. This was not a dream and there was no going back from everything that already happened. Or what couldn’t happen.

“Just tell me why,” Crowley asked quietly, feeling something heavy settle itself on his chest.

“Because you are normal, and the ones like you are not meant for the ones like me,” you said tiredly, rushing your way out of the basement.

He called you, but you didn’t stop, finally shutting the door to the basement behind your back. You took a deep breath, feeling like all the air from the corridor was taken out with nothing to use.

From where you were standing, you could hear Kevin walking on the old wooden bunker’ floors, probably looking for you since you weren’t anywhere in sight when he woke up. You didn’t move though, not sure if you were ready for confrontation with him. If he saw you in this state, he would definitely start asking some uneasy questions you had no honest answer to. You had no idea how all that could have happened, you were not prepared even in the slightest…

How many times would you have to re-enact the same experiences from the past? How was it possible that even if you did nothing to start it, those situations have been finding you again and again?

You didn’t hate Crowley, even though he could be a real pain in the ass sometimes. And that was the problem. It would be much easier for you to reject him if you had no feelings towards him. But somehow, after all that time you’ve known each other, you ended up getting to like him a little, even with all his quirks and moods. Just a little. He wasn’t that bad for a demon after all, at least not all the time.

But he had his needs, as most of the people had, and you wouldn’t be a match for him as your asexuality would sooner or later become a valid problem, just like it did in your past relationships which left you scarred on the inside.

A part of you wanted to punch yourself in that stupid face. What made you start that conversation with him? Everything would be a lot easier if you just stayed calm and ignored his remarks and words. Now it… Now you had one more thing to worry about. Congratulations.

With a faint feeling of sadness, you made your way back to the main part of the bunker, plastering a  smile on your face and hoping that Kevin wouldn’t be too inquisitive about why you spent so much time down there.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

You heard the bunker’s door creak open in the middle of the night. You were preparing something sweet for the night’s marathon with your newest favorite show when the boys finally arrived. You looked at the clock, although you didn’t really have too, as they were already a few hours late. You worried, but you kept reminding yourself that they could take care of themselves and Kevin, who they had transported to some other safe house.

You heard Dean calling you so you shouted back to inform him where you were. After a while, they marched into the kitchen, visibly tired, but not injured. You greeted them with a very proud smile, as you showed them the goods you’d baked.

Dean whistled as a hungry look appeared in his suddenly bright eyes.

“I’m so happy Kevin is not here right now,” he confessed.

“It doesn’t mean you’ll get more, though,” you warned him, moving them further away. “I made it mainly for myself, remember? By the way, how is Kevin? Is everything all right with him?”

“It will be,” Sam assured you. You slapped Dean’s hand when he tried to steal the cookies. “Crowley messed with him pretty badly, but he’ll get over it hopefully.”

“And if he doesn’t?” you asked what was bothering you for a while now. “He is the prophet and the only person that can read the tablets right now. If he goes crazy and tries to find his mother and Crowley’s demons catch him…”

You didn’t finish. You didn’t have to. All of you have been wondering about that problem since the incident with Kevin happened, but you still had no idea how to efficiently stop him from breaking loose. It reminded you of something.

“Where did you take him?” you asked. “Won’t he escape?”

“Even if he tries, it won’t be that easy, since we’ve planted a transmitter to show us where he is,” Dean said proudly with a grin. It must have been his idea.

“Well… But you do remember Kevin knows more about all that computer stuff than any of us? Are you sure he won’t notice?”

“Even if he does, we have a friend checking up on him, a retired hunter. He’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” you exhaled deeply, brushing your face with a hand. Dean stole one of the cookies, shoving the whole thing in his mouth. You death-glared him, but didn’t say anything. He will always be a kid.

“By the way, how do you feel?” Sam suddenly asked out of nowhere, catching you off guard.

“I’m… okay, I guess… It actually depends on what will be required from me…”

“Right,” he laughed gently. “We need you to pack up and come with us. On our way back here we had found something and we think it may be something big, but we can’t get it alone. It’s probably got some weird mojo-stuff scrawled over the entrance and we don’t want to go down there unprepared.”

“So we are going on a case?” you asked suspiciously, sensing that there was something he wasn’t telling you.

“Yeah, we may need backup.”

“If it’s so easy, why do I still feel that you’re about to drop something big that I really don’t want to hear…?”

“We are definitely gonna need your sixth sense,” Dean muffled with his mouth full, not even bothering anymore to hide stealing the cookies and eating them openly.

“We have to take Crowley too,” Sam answered, looking a little sorry.

Your jaw dropped. You wished it was a joke, but Sam looked dead serious.

“Why? You have nothing to make him do what you want him to do. Even if he could read it, why the hell would he?” you tried to reason with them, not wanting to sound too desperate.

“It’s not a problem. Our main worry is to keep an eye on him if he tries to escape in the middle of a hunt. If he senses he has a chance, well, you will take care of him when we hunt down whatever is in that crypt. What’s wrong?” Sam finally noticed your strange behaviour.

“Nothing. Better hurry, boys. I really want to have this over asap,” you shook your head, moving to your room and leaving Dean with the scraps of cookies. You lost the mood to properly enjoy them.

Sam caught up with you in the corridor. He must have sensed that something was off with you back in the kitchen. He always worried about you too much for your liking. It was nice of him, but he sometimes tended to dig into matters you wanted to keep to yourself.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, following you to your room. “Did something happen when we were out?”

Bingo, Moose.

“No. I just don’t feel well,” you mentally scoffed at yourself the moment you said that. Now he would worry even more.

“Are you sick? Maybe you should stay in the bunker, until…”

“No, Sammy, it’s okay. I just… It’s something I have to deal with myself,” you tried to reassure him with a warm smile, but you could see by the look on his face that it wasn’t working.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” he made sure, opening your door for you.

“I know. Thank you. Are we leaving right now?”

“Yeah, whatever is in that crypt, became really active when we checked it out. We don’t know if it won’t break free on its own. Do you need more time?”

“No. I’ll meet you in the garage in ten, okay?”

“Sure. Take your time.”

He finally left you alone. You reached for your gun on the bedside table, checking the bullets. You grabbed your coat already feeling the coolness of the night. What perfect scenery for an unwanted talk, probably including some heartbreaking confessions. Yeah, it was a good thing you weren’t a character in some cheesy romance. In your version of the story, you had a gun, a demon-killing knife, and years of practice in hunting on your side. And no intention of starting something that wouldn’t last.

You raised your chin and straightened your back. After all, you were still a hunter and had a work to do, even if that work was one of the most unpleasant things you’d had to do in the past years.

Crowley was just  sitting down in the backseat of the Impala when you arrived and took the opposite seat.

“What are we thinking about?” he asked as if nothing had happened few days ago.

“That I would love to be back in the sewers, looking for a dragon, over being here,” you answered him coldly, avoiding his look.

Dean mumbled something about how his Impala was not even partially that bad, but you didn’t say anything. Looking out the window, you could still see the hazy reflection of the demon. Crowley was silent for the rest of the ride, which was unusual for him, but you tried not to overthink that. One couldn’t guess what was on his mind. You didn’t see it the last time and that didn’t end well, so you were far from trying to guess again. Apparently, you weren’t as skilled in that matter as you used to think, but you still had other skills, much more useful in certain situations.

Dean pulled over near the gates of an old cemetery on the outskirts of the town. It looked like no one had been there for a long time as everything was dirty and poorly maintained. The leaves were banking up over the graves, some of which were tilted or plainly broken and forgotten. Judging by the dates engraved on them, the closest relatives of the people laying there were long dead too, and their offspring clearly neglected their duties. It made you sad, but you quickly dismissed that thought. You had other things to worry about.

You moved back to the boys standing before the ancient-looking crypt they told you about. Their annoyed faces almost made you laugh. When you caught up with them, Crowley was explaining to them how much he wasn’t going to help them.

“But why?” Dean almost groaned. “Don’t you see that you have no choice in the matter?”

“Squirrel, you are only making me enjoy myself more when I show you don’t have any power over me,” Crowley laughed loudly.

“We can kill all of your best demons!”

“Then there will come next ones. We are demons, that’s what we do. You can’t exterminate all of my kind.”

“We’ll see about that,” Sam grinned promisingly.

“Is this a pep talk…?”

“We can give you to Abbadon, remember that?” Dean teased him, which Crowley ignored.

“Or help you track her,” you added, surprising yourself and the three men.

Dean gave you the “what the hell” look from behind Crowley, who also eyed you weirdly. You shrugged, not really bothered by their reaction. The boys knew that sooner or later you would have to deal with growing in strength against Abbadon. She was not only Crowley’s problem. The raising chaos in Hell and her ideas on how to capture as many souls as possible were as important as the angels’ fall. And Crowley had to have something to gain to do what you wanted from him. That was just how he worked. Right?

Crowley squinted his eyes at you, trying to find a catch.

“What do you say, Crowley?” Sam rushed him, noticing the change in his mood and sensing his hesitation. “Deal?”

Crowley death-glared him, but nodded after a while of consideration. He glanced at you, but you kept your “bored beyond imagination” face, so he couldn’t read anything.

The demon moved to the closed entrance of the crypt, silently reading the ancient words in some probably dead language you didn’t understand at all. Dean moved closer to you, keeping an eye on Crowley.

“What the hell was that about?” he whispered to you almost angrily.

“You wanted him to help. I made him do it,” you said calmly as if you didn’t see what he had in mind.

Sure, it could be considered unusual for you to stand up for Crowley so openly, but you didn’t understand Dean’s surprise. You have always tried to act fair to everyone, including the other species as long as they weren’t breaking the law or hurting anyone. You and Dean have even had some mild arguments because of it a few times. Crowley may have been a douche one too many times, but recently did nothing evil.

Dean shot you another weird stare, which left you uneasy, but fortunately, Crowley deciphered the words on the marble walls, turning to you.

“It basically says in some fancy old French to keep away from and never open it. Are you ready, boys? I can’t wait to see you struggling with whatever it is.”

“Come on, Crowley, there is like two meters of text, what does it all say? There has to be some clue to what it is,” Dean left you, moving back to the crypt.

“According to these lame rhymes, it’s undead and living off of human emotions. My guess is that a lovey-dovey night of some emo kids on one of those benches woke up this creature. It’s pretty romantic, isn’t it?”

The Winchesters ignored him, talking with each other about what they should take. You exhaled deeply, wishing you could go with them, but you were aware they made a great team together. And someone had to have an eye on Crowley, still cuffed, but not less dangerous.

You wished the boys good luck when they finally managed to break the crypt’s entrance open. They were lucky no one was in the neighbourhood at that hour.

After they disappeared in the darkness, an awkward descended between you and Crowley. You didn’t want to look at him too much, because you had no idea what  he would think, but at the same time you knew this moment had to arrive at last. Your previous confidence melted away quicker than you would have expected.

It started to rain. You shivered when the temperature dropped drastically. It looked like winter was indeed coming quickly that year. The Impala was parked at the cemetery gates, from where you could still see the crypt, just in case anything decided to slide out. Crowley noticed your longing look. He could feel the cool air too.

“We don’t have to stand here like idiots,” he said, jerking his head toward the parked car.

You raised an eyebrow.

“Since when are you so docile?”

Crowley shrugged it off casually. Sometimes, when he gave up on all his “King-of-Hell-ness”, you could easily forget he wasn’t a human.

“You first,” you gestured and he smirked at your carefulness, but didn’t say anything, moving slowly, as if in no rush at all.

You sat in the back of the Impala, finally protected from the rain. Your hair was wet already and you didn’t even want to look in the mirror to see how bad it was. You rarely cared for looks, your own included, and it was a riddle why you gained anyone’s attention at all.

Crowley brushed his short hair carelessly. He looked so goddamn well, no matter what happened to him, that it made you almost jealous. He noticed your stare. You were aware there was nothing you could do more to avoid that confrontation.

“How much longer are you gonna pretend nothing happened?” he asked quietly with hoarseness in his voice.

You moved your eyes to the crypt.

“However long I can,” you answered honestly.

“Why?” he asked after a moment of hesitation. You would kill for a chance to look into his mind.

Your mouth felt dry and made your words crack more than you wished.

“I had already told you back then. It wouldn’t work. I am a hunter and you are one of the worst enemies of people like me…”

“Cut it out. I know when I hear a lie.”

You growled, leaning your head on the backrest. At this point, you were too tired of hiding and Crowley didn’t lose his interest in you even though it’s been months since you first said no to him. He deserved at least to know why.

“I am asexual, Crowley,” you blurted out, trying really hard not to look at him. Your throat clenched, almost suffocating you.

“So?” was not what you have expected.

You looked at him, for a brief moment forgetting about your clenched insides and stress pumping through your veins. Completely bewildered, you stared at his unamused face, expecting him to add anything. He only raised an eyebrow.

“I just said I am…”

“I heard you perfectly well, darling. And I don’t see any problem,” he said confidently, making you squint your eyes suspiciously. Maybe he didn’t understand what you meant, not many people did.

“Even if we… I wouldn’t…” you tried to explain what  he would have to accept, but you failed miserably, feeling your whole face burn like it was set on fire.

“I know,” he didn’t lose his confidence.

You scoffed, shaking your head incredulously.

“And since when are you so wiling to change your whole… style? Please, Crowley, just stop this nonsense…”

“You admitted you… _could be_ interested in me,” he stated carefully, for the first time in your conversation looking back from you to his still cuffed hands. “And it makes our… _situation_ different from anything that… used to happen to me. _With_ me.”

You tried to comprehend what he wanted to say and what it meant in relation to you. Both of you. It almost felt like a dream weaved by a Djinn and was too promising to be real. You didn’t even realize how desperate you had been, wanting to hear such words from him until then.

But at the same time, there still was this part of you, which couldn’t forget that you had already heard those promises before and that it never ended well. Sooner or later, it became too much for the other person and you couldn’t even truly blame them. They were normal and had their own needs.

Your thoughts must have been visible on your face, because Crowley sighed deeply, not used to this kind of conversation. He could see it was what you needed though, so he forced himself to say what he felt.

“Look, darling, I cannot give you any proof of what I’m saying, so all I can do is to assure you that I am not some horny teenager or two-faced cheater and I actually want something… _different,_ to put it in words. And if I weren’t sure I can agree on your terms, I wouldn’t toy with you.”

“Yeah, because you’d never toy with someone, right?” you snickered sadly, desperately trying not to wish for too much. Hope has already started to grow in your unusually light heart and was making every word harder for you to say.

“Guilty,” Crowley admitted with a nod. “But you will never know until you try me yourself, love.”

“Do I want to?” you whispered, locking your gaze with his.

“You have to answer that on your own, I’m afraid,” he said just as quiet as you and you felt yourself shiver.

That was exactly the moment when the Winchesters came back to the Impala, shutting the door loudly. They were still buzzing with adrenaline and you could smell the odor of some ancient dead bodies even from where you were sitting. You made a face, opening your window slightly.

“Ugh, did you hug the dead or something?” you whined loudly and Crowley grinned.

“We won’t have this talk,” Dean shushed you quickly, shivering at the mere thought of what they had encountered in the crypt. You were lucky nothing got out of it behind their backs, because you wouldn’t even notice.

“At least it’s done,” Sam turned to you, smiling slightly. Something black was smudged on his face but you didn’t want to know exactly what it was. He gestured to Crowley. “Any problems?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” you shrugged it off, not looking at the demon.

“Exactly, Moose. And now we can get back to your cosy little place and play with the chains,” Crowley added with a smug look on his face. He seemed genuinely happier now that you’d told him the truth and it took you a moment not to smile and make Sam suspicious.

“Hey, I’m not your chauffeur,” Dean groaned, starting the car.

“Of course you are not. I still have standards.”

That time you couldn’t contain a small giggle that escaped your lips, but the boys didn’t hear it. Crowley, on the other hand, looked like a cat that had just caught a very fat bird. Your only wonder was what he was going to do with it, but that you could take. Everything felt so… easy and bright, right now and you honestly couldn’t care less about anything.

Even if it wasn’t going to be all a fairy tail, at least the weight on your shoulders that accumulated over the past months was gone. About the rest – you shall see what the future brings you.


	5. Chapter 5

You breathed in the cool breeze that ghosted over your skin. It was a warm day and a rare exception  from the damp and gloomy weather from the past weeks. On the days like this you could almost believe the world would be able to stay in this state forever, without any problems, defects, and flaws on the perfect shell. You silently wished that one day your life would look just like that. Peaceful. Quiet. Without any risk the life of a hunter required.

It was a pleasant dream, but deep in your gut you knew you wouldn’t be able to leave this life and just forget about everything that has happened. You were a hunter, whether it was easy or not. You craved that adrenaline in your veins and even if it would be easier not to look, not to _see_ , you still looked for any kind of supernatural-centred leads or events.

After a long stay in the bunker with the Winchesters, you received a request for help from an old friend that you couldn’t ignore. The boys understood and even offered you their assistance, or at least a lift, but you refused. You were certain you could make it alone, and they just came back from their own hunt. Having a safe place to come back to was a really nice thing.

They waved you goodbye, making you promise you would call them once you were done. And with that, you left.

You had hesitated before telling Crowley, still chained in the bunker’s basement. You wanted to, you really did, especially after all that has happened between you, but every time you tried to plan your conversation before leaving, your mind went blank. What happened changed you slightly in a way you were still learning to understand. You wanted to… to try. To give it a chance. You were certain at that point that no matter what, you would at least try one more time. The internal conflict you had was about something different, something of a different nature. You wanted to be free.

It was the first time in an extended period of time that you started to think about what you liked in your life. You were a hunter and you enjoyed the hunter’s life, even when it meant sleeping in nasty motels or floundering through the canals in search of a dragon or another mystical creature and then to having to patch yourself, always watching your back. It was a difficult life to lead but you got used to it and couldn’t actually imagine yourself locked in a bunker, a house or anywhere, knowing that now it was your home and the most important place in your new life and what defined you since now on.

You were watching some crappy tv show when some thoughts struck you. What would Crowley want? He was a change in your current life, but what other changes would having him around entail? If he asked you to stay with him in Hell, what would you say? Until then you didn’t even know how much you starved for someone to be by your side, but there was always a second side of a coin.

And that’s how you ended up in the bunker’s basement, sitting at the table, opposite of Crowley in a heavy, dusty silence that descended upon you after a while of pleasant conversation died out. Since your talk on the Impala’s backseat, you made it your new habit to just come down there and have small talk when the Winchesters weren’t home. They would ask a lot of questions you didn’t want to answer or think about yet, so you decided to keep it from them, just for a while until you figured out some stuff that has been bothering you.

But even though it wasn’t easy, you still tried to make it happen. You were actually surprised how well it went. Talking with Crowley was never boring, as he could talk about any subject as long as you were willing to listen. You still had in the back of your mind that he was a demon after all, and a dangerous one, but that label wasn’t all that he was. He had a personality you’d come to like, and feelings, which he didn’t like that much, mostly because he never needed them while ruling Hell. But from the first day, you felt that something just clicked between the two of you, making you long for the next time you could talk to him and enjoy the time you could spend together.

And yet, on that day, your talk fell silent, when it became clear that this time something was different.

You tried not to fidget in your seat. You could feel Crowley’s eyes observing you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to break the silence. You didn’t know what you could say.

“Is everything all right?” Crowley was first to ask, his smile from just a few minutes earlier slowly fading.

“I think so,” you replied carefully.

“But…?”

“I have to leave for a few days, maybe a week. A friend asked me for help, he says it might be werewolves, but he’s not sure if he can deal with them alone.”

“So what?”

“I’ll leave tomorrow, after the Winchesters come back.”

“With them?”

“No, they’ll be tired and I have to go as soon as I can.”

“So you’re going alone? Over my dead body!” he exclaimed.

“Well, technically it’s not like you’re alive, so…”

“It doesn’t matter! I won’t let you just go and kill yourself, it’s too dangerous to…”

You sighed deeply, sending him a hard look.

“Did you forget I’ve got a few years of experience? I’m not a newbie, I know what I’m capable of handling.”

“Everybody says that before they die! Nope. I won’t let you go,” Crowley crossed his arms stubbornly, actively ignoring the clanking of the chains. He raised his chin, giving you a stubborn look.

You shook your head, not even surprised by his attitude, because it was just as you imagined.

“I _have to_ go,” you stated calmly.

“Please.”

You didn’t expect to see that side of him, but there he was, sitting in front of you, using everything he could to convince you. For a moment you were at a loss for words. You shook your head. He was always making it more difficult for you.

“I’m not leaving forever, I’ll be right back when I’m done with the hunt.”

“ _If_ you are done, you wanted to say, darling, there is no use in hiding the truth.”

You locked your gaze with his, a smirk playing on your lips. There was nothing he could do to stop you and both of you were aware of that fact.

“You don’t give up easily, do you?” you asked.

“I’m the King of Hell – of course I will not give up on anything, _especially_ something or someone I’ve recently started to care about!”

His words made you blush, not used to this kind of confession, but you regained your composure quickly.

“Well, I won’t give up either,” you said. “I’m still a hunter and this is what I do, whether you like it or not.”

“At least take the Winchesters. Hell, take me, if you care for their well-being so much!”

“You know I can’t do that, I made a promise to keep you here and I don’t break my promises. I have to go now, I think I’ve just heard the boys upstairs. I’ll be back before you even notice,” you said with a small smile, but Crowley didn’t move. He still looked at you with a wordless plea in his eyes that broke you a little, but it was your choice. Besides, you couldn’t see why would he be so stubborn on not letting you hunt. It was what you had been doing for the better part of your life, so what changed?

Maybe he felt something. He was a son of a witch, so maybe something was telling him that this was a bad decision, but you didn’t know.

Leaving the bunker, you promised yourself to talk to him about it later. You cared for him more than you would admit and making him sad or angry didn’t feel right, especially since your agreement to give your relationship a try, but he couldn’t restrain you from doing your job. No matter how much he wanted it, you would never be another plain housewife, even in Hell.

Laying on the cold, muddy ground in the middle of nowhere a week later, surrounded by the second half of a werewolf pack you didn’t see coming, you understood how stupid you were on that day. With every beat of your slowing heart, new waves of hot blood were leaving your body at an alarming rate, and there was nothing you could do to change what had been done.

A distant howling made you shiver. Your thoughts were blurring together, just like the rest of your darkening world. You remembered how pleasant the sun felt on your skin only the day before and how nothing indicated the twist your life was about to end with. If you had a second chance, you would change so many things…

Your eyes closed and your body shut down, unaware of a sudden fuss in the werewolves’ nest.

* * *

The world was a cold, unpleasant place. Shivers run down your spine, making muscles clench around still sensitive skin around the deep wound. You winced, brutally woken up from a dreamless sleep.

You groaned, struggling to open your glued together eyelids. You didn’t recognize the room around you, even though you could barely see anything. The light from your left was too bright and you couldn’t bring yourself to look that way. Memories from your last hunt were coming back slowly, but sorting through them was a difficult task.

“Don’t move too much. You’ve been hurt badly,” you heard a slightly familiar voice.

Before you decided to do anything, you saw Crowley leaning over you, checking your temperature.

“Why are you here…?” was all you could say before a cough attack silenced you.

You took a sip of water from the glass he handed you carefully. Your throat felt like sandpaper and your whole body ached. You blinked a few times, focusing on the unfamiliar room.

“Where-…”

“You shouldn’t talk now,” Crowley shushed you, sitting on the bed by your side. “I told you not to go.”

“But what are you doing here? I thought you were chained up.”

“Well, let’s just say that some angel issues helped me get away from the Moose and Squirrel. So the first thing I did was look for you, and guess what I found?”

“An almost dead idiot?” you muttered, closing your irritated eyes.

“Bingo, love.”

“So where are we?”

“In a hospital I transported you to a few days ago. And yes, don’t look at me like that, you heard me. They put you in a medical coma for a few days, but the docs say it’s all okay now. If your state wasn’t that bad, I would have probably tried to heal you myself, but I didn’t want to risk failing. So, as you can see, we switched places. Now you are the one chained, even if it is to a drip instead of chains. Are you happy now?”

“To be honest, I’m kind of surprised you didn’t yell at me yet.”

Crowley frowned.

“Why would I? I won’t yell just because you decided to ignore my kind plea and recklessly risk your own life, not even telling me where exactly you were going.”

“Have I ever told you I’d love to have your patience?”

“No, but I would be very glad if you started telling me more things.”

You smirked sadly. You still couldn’t feel half of your face, probably from the meds they stuffed you with. You felt heavy and tired, but after what you’ve experienced you didn’t want to move that conversation to some other non specified day. You were no longer certain if you could take your future for granted, so when Crowley moved to stand back up, you stopped him, catching his hand.

“I won’t stop hunting, Crowley,” you stated, looking him in the eyes. You cold see how much he worried about you, but you couldn’t just give up on such a big part of your life. “I’m a hunter.”

He sighed deeply, visibly in pain by the thought of your next visit to the hospital.

“You have to understand – I don’t want you to be in any more danger than you already are because of connections with me. There will be plenty of creatures hunting you…” he tried to argue, but you stopped him once again.

“You can’t stop being a demon, just like I can’t throw everything out. This is what I am. This is what made me who I am right now.”

“I suppose asking you not to do something won’t work this time either?” Crowley tried to joke, brushing his fingers over the back of your hand. His touch was warm and pleasant and you wished you could just lay by his side, no problems in the back of your mind.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, suddenly overwhelmed by that truth.

Crowley raised up your chin to face him, a smile ghosting over his lips.

“Hey, what’s with that sad face? It’s not like I’ll leave just because you are stubborn like a donkey. You may not have noticed, but I am the more stubborn one in this room. It’s not that easy to get rid of me,” Crowley winked, making you blush once again.

“So what now, you’re not going to try and stop me?” you asked after clearing your throat.

“I can see how useless that would be, so I’ve decided to simply help you.”

You blinked.

“You mean like…”

“Hunting. Or at least making sure you come back home in one piece.”

For a moment you could just stare at him, not believing his words. Maybe you were still high on meds or didn’t hear right, but from the look on his face it didn’t seem so. You couldn’t resist a silly smile, so you just hid your face in his arm.

“I can’t wait to see you hunting some dirty creatures.”

“We’ll see, darling. Now rest. We’ve got plenty of time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, the end of the story. It meant a lot to me back when I was dealing with my own problems, so it may have influenced the sotry . I'm so happy to see that other people enjoyed it too! Please tell me your opinion :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy it! You can also find me at silence-burns.tumblr.com


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